The losses continue. Today I have to take 2 elderly, ill, cats to the vet for mercy. Twyla, a brindle Maine Coon Cat, and Pixel, a B&W Maine Coon, are both on that ghastly downward slope- kidney failure, shocking weight loss, unsteady gait; and today Pixel stopped eating. I will miss them terribly, especially Pixel who has been a joy and delight in my life for the past 16 years; and coming on top of the many griefs and blows of the past month it is just a bit too much today. I had planned to go to my part-time job for a 1/2 day today but I need to stay here and just hold them on my lap and tell them how much I love them and what an honor it has been that they have been part of my life here.
It is no coincidence that Pixel has lived here as long as I have. A few months after I moved here, I buried Poohka in the garden and then Smudge joined her a year later. The beloved Pinkie left last year at the venerable age of 21. Pixel arrived shortly after Poohka left and filled that hole in my heart.
In some horrible symmetry, I am again losing friends and moving. This time, however, I have no garden in which to bury them. I need more spit and baling wire, the few intact bits of my heart now broken.